Moon + Fire

The False Gift That's Burning You Out (And why your exhaustion might be the most honest thing about you right now)

Note: Episode 14 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

I used to think burnout meant I was giving too much. That I was too generous, too caring, too devoted to others' needs. There was almost a nobility in my exhaustion—a badge of honor that proved my goodness.

I was wrong.

The truth about burnout hit me like a lightning bolt when I encountered Parker Palmer's words: "Burnout does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place."

The nothingness from which I was trying to give.

Suddenly, everything shifted. My burnout wasn't evidence of my generosity—it was evidence that I had been offering false gifts. Gifts that looked like love but were actually born from my desperate need to prove my worth. Gifts that depleted me because they weren't mine to give in the first place.

Here's what I've discovered: when we give from our authentic essence—from what Palmer calls our "organic reality"—the gift renews itself. We don't deplete. We don't burn out. We flow.

But when we force ourselves to give what we don't naturally possess? When we offer services from our wounds rather than our wisdom? When we say yes from fear rather than love? That's when we create what Palmer calls "dangerous gifts"—offerings that look caring but ultimately harm both giver and receiver.

The woman constantly saying yes when her body screams no. The mother giving from exhaustion rather than abundance. The leader offering solutions she doesn't truly believe in. The friend providing advice from her anxiety rather than her wisdom.

These aren't acts of love. They're acts of desperation masquerading as nobility.

Your burnout isn't a character flaw—it's your body's fierce protection, preventing you from continuing to offer false gifts that diminish both you and those you're trying to serve.

But here's the beautiful truth: when you stop giving what you don't possess, space opens for you to discover what you actually do have to offer. And those authentic gifts? They're renewable. They're sustainable. They're sacred.

What would change if you only gave gifts that grew naturally within you?

In this week's Moon & Fire podcast episode, I dive deep into this revolutionary understanding of burnout and guide you through discovering the authentic offerings that are truly yours to give—the ones that will renew rather than deplete you.

Because the world doesn't need your false gifts, beautiful woman. It needs your true ones.

 

Listen to Episode 14:

EPISODE 14 SHOW NOTES

Episode #14: "Burnout as Sacred Messenger”

Brief Description:

What if burnout isn't about giving too much, but about trying to give what you don't actually possess? In this episode, I explore Parker Palmer's revolutionary insight that burnout reveals "the nothingness from which we were trying to give in the first place."

I'll share why burnout signals we've been offering false gifts - presents that look like love but come from our need to prove ourselves rather than authentic care. We'll explore the difference between giving from our organic reality versus forcing gifts that aren't truly ours to give, and why only gifts that grow within us can renew both ourselves and others.

You'll discover how to recognize when you're violating your own nature in the name of nobility, and I'll guide you through an exercise to uncover the unique gifts that are truly yours to offer - those sacred offerings that emerge from your authentic essence rather than depletion.

This episode is for the woman who's exhausted from trying to be everything to everyone and ready to discover the renewable offerings that flow naturally from her true nature. It's time to give from fullness, not emptiness.

key quotes

  1. "Burnout does not result from giving all I have: it merely reveals the nothingness from which I was trying to give in the first place." - Parker Palmer

  2. "When I give something I do not possess, I give a false & dangerous gift, a gift that looks like love but is in reality, loveless." - Parker Palmer

  3. "When the gift I give to the other is integral to my own nature, when it comes from a place of organic reality within me, it will renew itself - and me - even as I give it away." - Parker Palmer

  4. "The world doesn't need your false gifts, sacred woman. It needs your true ones."

  5. "When we give from our authentic essence, the gift renews itself. We don't deplete. We don't burn out. We flow."

  6. "What you have to offer right now is not only enough, but is actually the most powerful thing you have to offer your world if you will show up believing it is a gift."

  7. "Your medicine often emerges not despite your struggles, but because of how you've learned to navigate them."

  8. "Only when I give something that does not grow within me do I deplete myself and harm the other as well." - Parker Palmer

  9. I’m learning to trust that my presence holds my power.

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The Sacred Dance: Balancing Feminine and Masculine Energies

Note: Episode 12 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

There's a dance taking place within you—a sacred partnership of energies that, when balanced, creates a profound harmony in how you move through the world. I'm talking about the dance between feminine and masculine energies, between what I often call "flow" and "go," between receptivity and action, between being and doing.

This dance isn't about gender. These energies exist within each of us regardless of how we identify. They represent universal principles that flow throughout nature and the cosmos—complementary forces designed to work in partnership, each enhancing and balancing the other.

Yet our culture doesn't value these energies equally. We live in a world that overwhelmingly privileges masculine qualities while dismissing or even demonizing feminine ones. This imbalance affects everyone, but often impacts women in particularly painful ways as we're asked to suppress the very energies that are often most natural to us.

Understanding the Energetic Dance

Masculine energy—the "go" energy—is directional and focused. It moves in straight lines. It knows where it's going and creates a direct path to get there. It builds structures, establishes boundaries, and creates order from chaos. It's the energy of the warrior, the builder, the protector.

Feminine energy—the "flow" energy—is receptive and cyclical. It moves in curves and spirals. It doesn't rush toward a destination but unfolds in its own perfect timing. It connects rather than separates, feels rather than analyzes, trusts rather than controls. It's the energy of the priestess, the creator, the visionary.

In nature, we see this partnership everywhere. The seed (feminine) requires the structure of the shell (masculine) to protect its vulnerable potential until it's ready to emerge. The flowing river (feminine) needs the containing banks (masculine) to channel its movement toward the ocean. The expansive night sky (feminine) is balanced by the focused light of the stars (masculine).

The Wisdom of Both Energies

Many of us have been taught—either explicitly or through cultural osmosis—that feminine energy is somehow less valuable than masculine energy. We've learned that directness is better than receptivity, that focus is more productive than openness, that certainty is superior to mystery.

But what if both energies carry equal wisdom?

Feminine energy brings irreplaceable gifts: the ability to receive and gestate new life (literally and figuratively), to nurture growth, to sense what isn't visible to the analytical mind, to move with rather than against the natural rhythms of life, to create from an empty space rather than constant doing.

These qualities aren't "soft" or "weak" as our culture often portrays them. In fact, feminine energy holds immense power—not the power of force, but the power of attraction, creation, and transformation. It takes profound strength to remain open and receptive in a world that values only assertion and action.

Masculine energy brings its own essential gifts: the capacity to act decisively, to protect what we love, to create structures that support growth, to move forward with clarity and purpose. Without these qualities, we would struggle to bring our visions into form, to establish healthy boundaries, to create meaningful change in the world.

Signs of Energetic Imbalance

How do you know if you're experiencing energetic imbalance in your own life? Here are some signs I've observed both in myself and in hundreds of women I've worked with:

  • You feel constantly exhausted but can't slow down because your worth is tied to your productivity

  • You notice that you can easily make plans and set goals but struggle to actually enjoy the journey

  • Your calendar is meticulously organized, but you rarely leave space for spontaneity or rest

  • You find yourself stuck in your head, analyzing and overthinking, while feeling disconnected from your body's wisdom

  • You push through your natural cycles rather than honoring their different energies

  • You measure success by external achievements rather than internal fulfillment

If these patterns sound familiar, you're not alone. You've simply been living in a culture that has trained you to operate primarily from one type of energy while suppressing the other. The good news is that your feminine essence hasn't disappeared; it's simply waiting to be remembered and reclaimed.

A Simple Practice for Balance

Here's a practice you can begin using today to cultivate more balance between your feminine and masculine energies. I call it the Sacred Pause, and it takes just a few moments at transitional points in your day.

When you're moving from one activity to another—perhaps from work to home, or from sleep to waking—take three conscious breaths. On the first breath, notice where you feel tension in your body and allow it to soften slightly. On the second breath, place a hand on your heart and ask, "What energy is needed now?" On the third breath, consciously choose which energy you want to lead in the next activity.

This tiny ritual interrupts the default pattern of masculine dominance and creates space for conscious choice. Over time, these small moments of awareness build new neural pathways that allow for more fluid movement between energies.

An Invitation Deeper

In Episode 12 of Moon & Fire, I explore this sacred dance of energies in greater depth. I share how our cultural conditioning has created profound imbalance, how suppressed energies emerge in distorted forms, and how we can reclaim the full spectrum of our energetic expression.

The episode includes additional practices for reconnecting with your feminine essence while maintaining a healthy relationship with your masculine energy. I also share my own journey of discovering what becomes possible when these energies dance in balance within us.

This exploration isn't about rejecting masculine energy but about creating space for the feminine to lead more often. It's about remembering that we contain both the mountain and the ocean, both the arrow and the spiral, both the fire and the water. Our wholeness embraces all of these energies in their perfect dance.

May you honor both the go and the flow within you
May you recognize the sacred partnership of these primal forces
May you rediscover the power of your feminine essence
May you move through the world as the whole, integrated being you truly are

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 12:

EPISODE 12 SHOW NOTES

Episode #12: "The Sacred Dance: Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energy”

Brief Description:

In "The Sacred Dance: Understanding Masculine and Feminine Energy," I explore the essential balance between "go" and "flow" energies that exist within all of us, regardless of gender. Discover how masculine pathways—characterized by action, drive, and linear progress—complement feminine pathways marked by mystery, soul time, and intuitive trust. Learn why suppressed energies don't disappear but emerge in distorted forms, and how our Western culture's imbalance affects our wellbeing. This episode offers practical ways to invite more balance into your life, honoring both the fire and the moon within you. Includes a simple daily practice to help you consciously choose which energy needs to lead in any given moment.

key quotes

  1. "The moon embodies feminine energy - cyclical, reflective, intuitive, and mysterious. Fire represents masculine energy - direct, transformative, action-oriented, and illuminating. These two forces aren't in opposition but in beautiful partnership."

  2. "Masculine pathways are all about action, drive, strength, measurable progress, and following a linear or chronological path forward. Feminine pathways are marked by mystery, soul time, wonder, and an intuitive trust in the unseen."

  3. "We in the Western world are significantly bent toward living life according to masculine pathways. We see it in how we 'make' life happen, and how we often muscle our way through life, focused more on fixing what is broken than stewarding well-being."

  4. "Because the way of feminine pathways is characteristically slower, full of mystery and deep rhythm, they are regularly overlooked as passive or viewed as a luxury to be embraced once the 'real' work has been done."

  5. "To dismiss feminine pathways is to overlook the great power that is born through stillness and open hands."

  6. "When we try to suppress either energy, it doesn't simply disappear. Instead, it finds alternative pathways to express itself, often in distorted or shadow forms."

  7. "When either masculine or feminine energy operates in isolation—cut off from its balancing counterpart—it grows in a malformed way, like a plant reaching for light through a crack in concrete."

  8. "Our sacred work is to reclaim the balance between these energies, to honor the fullness of who we are made to be."

  9. "The goal isn't to swing from one extreme to another, but to develop a fluid relationship with both the go and the flow, allowing each to lead when appropriate."

  10. "You contain both the mountain and the ocean, both the arrow and the spiral, both the fire and the water. Your wholeness embraces all of these energies in their perfect dance."

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The Alchemy of Everyday Practice: How Rituals Shape Your Becoming

Note: Episode 11 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

Have you ever noticed how you're always practicing something?

Whether you're aware of it or not, each day contains dozens of rituals that are quietly but powerfully shaping not just what you do, but who you're becoming.

That morning scroll through social media before your feet touch the floor? That's a practice. The way you rush through breakfast while checking emails? That's a practice too. Even how you respond to fatigue—pushing through or honoring your need for rest—is a practice that's writing itself into your being.

I discovered this truth in my own life when I realized my morning "routine" was actually training me in scarcity and urgency. I would wake up, immediately check my phone, scan through emails with growing anxiety, and launch into my day already feeling behind. This wasn't just affecting my mood—it was shaping what I believed about time, about my capacity, about what was possible.

That practice was writing a story: "There's never enough time. You're always behind. You have to hustle to be worthy." And because I practiced this story every morning, it became the lens through which I experienced everything.

The power of practice goes far beyond habit formation. Your practices literally shape your desires. What you repeatedly do becomes what you love, what you long for, what feels natural. And as your desires shift, your very being transforms.

This is what I call the slow magic of rhythm—it works the way seasons change or flowers bloom. Gradually, almost imperceptibly, but with inevitable power. You don't see a plant growing day by day, but tend it with consistent care and one day you're amazed by the blossom.

So what if you chose just one unconscious ritual in your life and transformed it into a sacred practice?

Perhaps it's creating a threshold moment between sleep and waking—placing hands on your heart, taking three deep breaths, and asking "What does my soul need today?" before reaching for your phone.

Or maybe it's transforming your commute by spending the first five minutes in grateful reflection rather than immediate planning.

The beauty is that you don't need special tools or perfect circumstances. You just need the willingness to begin, the patience to continue, and the trust that your consistent practice is quietly working its transformation even when you can't yet see the results.

Your practices are portals to power. Small sacred acts create profound shifts. And you have everything you need to begin this transformation right where you are.

 

Want to explore this sacred alchemy more deeply? In episode 11 of the Moon & Fire podcast, "The Slow Magic of Rhythm," I share the complete framework for transforming your practices, the three doorways to conscious change, and a practical guide for creating your own sacred liturgy. Listen wherever you get your podcasts.

Listen to Episode 11:

EPISODE 11 SHOW NOTES

Episode #11: "The Slow Magic of Rhythm: How Sacred Practice Shapes Your Becoming”

Brief Description:

In "The Slow Magic of Rhythm," I explore how our daily practices quietly but powerfully shape not just what we do, but what we desire and who we become. I reveal how unconscious routines create hidden "liturgies" that form our lives, and share how intentional ritual rhythms can transform our deepest longings and sense of self. Join me to discover the sacred alchemy of practice—how small, consistent rituals create profound shifts over time through what I call "the slow magic of rhythm." I'll guide you through creating your own transformative sacred liturgy and entering the eternal cycle of becoming.

key quotes

  1. "Have you ever noticed how you're always practicing something? Whether you're conscious of it or not, every day you're engaged in rituals and rhythms that are shaping your desires and, through them, your very being."

  2. "Every environment you inhabit carries its own liturgy. Your morning scroll through social media is a liturgy. The way you rush through breakfast while checking emails is a liturgy. These unconscious rituals are constantly forming your desires and your being."

  3. "Our practices don't just shape our actions - they shape what we love, what we long for, what feels possible for us."

  4. "Like water wearing away stone, consistent practice creates profound transformation. You don't see a plant growing day by day, but tend it with consistent care and one day you're amazed by the blossom."

  5. "Your practices are portals to power. Small sacred acts create profound shifts. Rhythm creates the container for magic."

  6. "What if you chose just one unconscious liturgy in your life and transformed it into a sacred practice? What if you trusted that this simple shift could begin reshaping not just your days, but your desires and your very being?"

  7. "Your environment influences your practice, which creates rhythm, which shapes desire, which transforms being, which opens you to new practices, and the cycle continues eternally."

  8. "When you choose consciousness, you become an active participant in your own becoming."

  9. "Each repetition is like water on a seed, nurturing something that will eventually break through the soil of your current reality and bloom into new possibility."

  10. "The slow magic of rhythm is available to you right now. You don't need special tools or perfect circumstances. You just need the willingness to begin, the patience to continue, and the trust that your consistent practice is quietly working its transformation even when you can't yet see the results."

Research Sources:

On Surrender

  1. Sease, T. B., Andersland, M., Perkins, D. R., Sandoz, E. K., Jean, C., Sudduth, H., & Cox, C. R. (2024). Surrendering to thrive: Evaluating the psychometric properties of the State of Surrender (SoS) scale and its relationship with well-being. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 33, 100815. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2024.100815

  2. Sease, T. B., Cox, C. R., Wiese, A. L., Sandoz, E. K., & Knight, K. (2024). The impact of State of Surrender on the relationship between engagement in substance use treatment and meaning in life presence: a pilot study. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1331756. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1331756

On Gratitude and Contrasting Emotions

  1. Howells, K. (2022). Trying to find gratitude rather than resentment when in chronic pain. Kerry Howells. https://kerryhowells.com/trying-to-find-gratitude-rather-than-resentment-when-in-chronic-pain/

  2. Psychology Today. (2025, February 3). Gratitude. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gratitude

  3. Mindful. (2025, February 10). The Science of Gratitude. https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/

On Health Benefits of Gratitude

  1. Chen, Y., VanderWeele, T. J., et al. (2024). Association of gratitude with mortality risk among older adults in the US. JAMA Psychiatry. [Referenced in Research.com]

  2. Fahkry, T. (2024, January 10). The Power Of Gratitude In An Unfair World: Appreciation As An Antidote To Bitterness. https://www.tonyfahkry.com/the-power-of-gratitude-in-an-unfair-world-appreciation-as-an-antidote-to-bitterness/

On Gratitude Practices

  1. Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

  2. Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

  3. Harvard Health. (2021, August 14). Giving thanks can make you happier. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier

On Synthetic vs. Natural Happiness

  1. Gilbert, D. (2006). Stumbling on happiness. Knopf.

  2. Gilbert, D. (2004). The surprising science of happiness [TED Talk]. TED Conferences LLC. https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_surprising_science_of_happiness

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The Paradox of Surrender: How Letting Go Helps Us Receive What We Truly Want

Note: Episode 10 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

Have you ever noticed how the things you grasp for most tightly seem to slip through your fingers? How the relationships, opportunities, or experiences you try hardest to control often feel the most chaotic?

There's a profound wisdom I've been sitting with lately that runs counter to everything our achievement-oriented culture teaches us: sometimes, the path to what we most deeply desire runs through surrender, not force.

In our latest episode of Moon & Fire, "The Sacred Surrender: Opening to What You're Longing For," I explore this counterintuitive truth. As a threshold walker and coach who helps women navigate life's significant transitions, I've witnessed firsthand how loosening our grip on exactly how things must unfold often creates the very opening needed for our deepest longings to find us.

This isn't about passive resignation or giving up on our desires. Rather, it's about recognizing when our white-knuckle striving is actually blocking the very thing we seek.

Recent research confirms what many wisdom traditions have long taught: a state of surrender—our willingness to accept whatever comes without resistance—is strongly correlated with psychological well-being, happiness, and life satisfaction. Meanwhile, gratitude practices have been scientifically shown to shift our nervous system out of stress response and into receptivity, allowing us to recognize opportunities we might otherwise miss.

In this episode, I share:

  • How to distinguish true surrender from giving up

  • The neuropsychology behind why surrender works

  • A simple gratitude practice that can shift your relationship with control

  • Practical rituals for sacred surrender in life's threshold moments

If you've been pushing hard for something that feels stubbornly out of reach—or if you're simply exhausted from constantly orchestrating every aspect of your life—this episode offers a refreshing perspective and practical tools for a different way forward.

Sometimes the most direct path to what we're seeking is to release our grasp on how it must arrive. I invite you to listen and discover what might be waiting for you on the other side of surrender.

With wild grace,

 

Listen to Episode 10:

EPISODE 10 SHOW NOTES

Episode #10: "The Sacred Surrender: Opening to What You're Longing For”

Brief Description:

In this transformative episode, I explore the counterintuitive wisdom of surrender as a powerful access point to what we're truly longing for. Drawing from my experience as a threshold walker—someone who helps women cross from one season of life to the next—I share how surrendering isn't about giving up, but about opening to a larger reality beyond our own striving. Discover how gratitude practices can shift your relationship with control, creating space for unexpected gifts to enter. Learn why neuroscience shows that loosening our grip on specific outcomes actually expands our perception and creativity. Through practical rituals and embodied practices, this episode offers a pathway to experience the paradox at the heart of sacred surrender: sometimes the most direct route to what we desire comes through releasing our attachment to how it must arrive.

key quotes

  1. "True surrender is an opening, a softening, a remembering that we are held within something larger than our individual striving."

  2. "Surrender doesn't mean abandoning our dreams or desires. It means releasing our attachment to exactly how they must manifest and on what timeline."

  3. "Think of surrender as the exhale after a long, deep inhale. Both are essential to the breath cycle, but many of us have been taught to value only the inhale - the gathering, the accumulating, the achieving."

  4. "Sometimes the most powerful action we can take is to surrender. Sometimes the most direct path to what we're seeking is to release our grasp on how it must arrive."

  5. "When we're in a state of striving and stress - what we might call 'making it happen' mode - our brain activates its threat-response networks. This narrows our perception, limits our creativity, and actually reduces our ability to recognize opportunities."

  6. "Gratitude reminds us of a simple but profound truth: many of the most precious things in our lives are not there because we manufactured their presence through force of will."

  7. "Even a few minutes of genuine gratitude practice each day can begin to shift our relationship with control and open us to the possibility of surrender."

  8. "There are moments for clear direction and purposeful movement. And there are moments for softening, for listening, for allowing ourselves to be moved rather than always being the mover."

  9. "Research shows that a state of surrender is strongly correlated with psychological well-being, including thriving, happiness, flourishing, and life satisfaction."

  10. "When we surrender to this greater holding, we don't diminish our power - we actually access a more profound source of it."

Research Sources:

On Surrender

  1. Sease, T. B., Andersland, M., Perkins, D. R., Sandoz, E. K., Jean, C., Sudduth, H., & Cox, C. R. (2024). Surrendering to thrive: Evaluating the psychometric properties of the State of Surrender (SoS) scale and its relationship with well-being. Journal of Contextual Behavioral Science, 33, 100815. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.jcbs.2024.100815

  2. Sease, T. B., Cox, C. R., Wiese, A. L., Sandoz, E. K., & Knight, K. (2024). The impact of State of Surrender on the relationship between engagement in substance use treatment and meaning in life presence: a pilot study. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 1331756. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.1331756

On Gratitude and Contrasting Emotions

  1. Howells, K. (2022). Trying to find gratitude rather than resentment when in chronic pain. Kerry Howells. https://kerryhowells.com/trying-to-find-gratitude-rather-than-resentment-when-in-chronic-pain/

  2. Psychology Today. (2025, February 3). Gratitude. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/basics/gratitude

  3. Mindful. (2025, February 10). The Science of Gratitude. https://www.mindful.org/the-science-of-gratitude/

On Health Benefits of Gratitude

  1. Chen, Y., VanderWeele, T. J., et al. (2024). Association of gratitude with mortality risk among older adults in the US. JAMA Psychiatry. [Referenced in Research.com]

  2. Fahkry, T. (2024, January 10). The Power Of Gratitude In An Unfair World: Appreciation As An Antidote To Bitterness. https://www.tonyfahkry.com/the-power-of-gratitude-in-an-unfair-world-appreciation-as-an-antidote-to-bitterness/

On Gratitude Practices

  1. Emmons, R. A., & McCullough, M. E. (2003). Counting blessings versus burdens: An experimental investigation of gratitude and subjective well-being in daily life. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 84(2), 377-389.

  2. Seligman, M. E. P., Steen, T. A., Park, N., & Peterson, C. (2005). Positive psychology progress: Empirical validation of interventions. American Psychologist, 60(5), 410-421.

  3. Harvard Health. (2021, August 14). Giving thanks can make you happier. https://www.health.harvard.edu/healthbeat/giving-thanks-can-make-you-happier

On Synthetic vs. Natural Happiness

  1. Gilbert, D. (2006). Stumbling on happiness. Knopf.

  2. Gilbert, D. (2004). The surprising science of happiness [TED Talk]. TED Conferences LLC. https://www.ted.com/talks/dan_gilbert_the_surprising_science_of_happiness

GET YOUR EPISODE 10 RESOURCE GUIDE 👇

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Join our sacred circle and receive weekly emails with links to the latest episodes, companion blog posts, and exclusive access to episode resource guides. These practical tools will support your journey of remembering your sacred cycles, reclaiming your radiant fire, and unleashing your intuitive magic.

The Hidden Cost of Fragmentation: Reclaiming Your Scattered Powers

Note: Episode 8 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

I laid in bed this morning in a brief moment of stillness, breath moving gently through my body. As I settled into the solitude of the moment, I felt it again – that familiar tension between different parts of myself.

The part that wanted to sink into deep presence.

The part anxiously reviewing my to-do list.

The part judging both of these other aspects.

And I smiled, recognizing an old pattern.

For most of my life, I've experienced these internal divisions as normal. Haven't we all? We fragment ourselves into the professional self, the mother self, the creative self, the spiritual self – each one often disconnected from the others, sometimes even at war.

This fragmentation isn't something that happens overnight. It begins gradually, often in childhood, when we receive messages about which parts of ourselves are acceptable and which aren't.

Perhaps you were told your anger was inappropriate, your sadness was burdensome, your exuberance was too much, or your needs were selfish. Maybe you learned that your cyclical nature – with its ebbs and flows, darkness and light – wasn't compatible with a world that values consistent productivity and perpetual pleasantness.

So what did you do? You did what all of us do when faced with rejection – you began to fragment. You created internal walls between the parts of yourself that were welcomed by the world and the parts that weren't. You developed sophisticated systems to keep certain aspects hidden – even from yourself.

This fragmentation served you once. It was a brilliant survival strategy that allowed you to maintain connection, to belong, to function in environments that couldn't hold your full radiance.

But the cost of maintaining this fragmentation is enormous.

Think about the energy required to continuously monitor yourself, to keep parts of your nature locked away, to maintain these internal divisions. It's exhausting. And it creates a profound sense of disconnection – from yourself, from others, from the natural world.

When we're fragmented, our intuition becomes clouded because it can't draw from our complete knowing. Our creative expression becomes limited because it can't access our full range. Our cyclical wisdom becomes muted because we've lost access to parts of ourselves that would guide this dance.

And perhaps most painfully, fragmentation scatters our power.

Every wall we build inside ourselves requires energy to maintain. Every part we reject carries power that becomes unavailable to us. Every internal battle drains the very life force we need to create the lives we desire.

This is where the medicine of rewilding enters.

Rewilding isn't about becoming something new. It's about remembering who you've always been beneath the layers of conditioning and fragmentation. It's the return to your natural essence after domestication – like a garden that's been carefully manicured suddenly allowed to grow according to its own wisdom again.

In this week's episode of Moon & Fire, I share my personal journey of reclaiming a fragmented part of myself – one that carried enormous power that had been unavailable to me for years. I explore the phases of the rewilding journey and offer a simple but profound practice for welcoming home an exiled aspect of your being.

Because here's what I know to be true: Your power lives in your wholeness.

Not in perfect balance. Not in spiritual bypass. Not in toxic positivity. But in creating a home within yourself where all aspects of your sacred being can reside together in harmony – your fierceness alongside your tenderness, your shadows next to your light, your wild nature in conversation with your structure.

This journey of reclaiming your scattered powers is at the heart of The Rewilded coaching experience that I've created. The doors are open now for a limited time, and I'd be honored to guide you through this sacred process of coming home to yourself.

Whether The Rewilded experience calls to you or not, I invite you to consider: What would become possible if you stopped fighting against your complete nature and instead created a sanctuary for it to flourish? What power might be waiting to return to you?

What aspect of yourself are you ready to welcome home? I'd love to hear in the comments below.

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 8:

EPISODE 8 SHOW NOTES

Episode #8: "Reclaiming Your Scattered Powers: The Medicine of Rewilding”

Brief Description:

In this intimate episode, I explore how the fragmentation of our authentic selves leads to scattered personal power and disconnection from our deepest wisdom. Through sharing my own journey of reclaiming a fragmented part of myself, I reveal how limiting beliefs create internal divisions that separate us from our wholeness. You'll discover how the rewilding process creates a sacred container where all aspects of your being can return home, transforming "either/or" thinking into "both/and" wholeness. I offer a simple yet profound practice for welcoming a fragmented part of yourself back into the sanctuary of your being, and share how The Rewilded coaching experience provides a transformative container for this sacred reclamation work. This episode illuminates how reuniting your scattered powers is not about becoming something new, but remembering who you've always been.

key quotes

  1. "Your power lives in your wholeness - in creating a home where all aspects of your sacred being can reside together in harmony."

  2. "Fragmentation isn't something that happens overnight. It's a gradual process, often beginning in childhood, when we receive messages about which parts of ourselves are acceptable and which aren't."

  3. "Rewilding isn't about becoming something new. It's about remembering who you've always been beneath the layers of conditioning and fragmentation."

  4. "The cost of maintaining fragmentation is enormous. Think about the energy required to continuously monitor yourself, to keep parts of your nature locked away, to maintain these internal divisions."

  5. "When we're fragmented, our cyclical wisdom becomes muted. We struggle to honor the natural rhythms moving through us because we've lost access to parts of ourselves that would guide this dance."

  6. "Each time we welcome home an exiled part, we strengthen our relationship with ourselves. We become a safer place for all aspects of our being to exist."

  7. "This isn't a process of addition but of recognition - not becoming more, but acknowledging what's already there."

  8. "Rewilding transforms 'either/or' thinking into 'both/and' wholeness - recognizing that we can be both fierce and tender, both structured and wild, both autonomous and connected."

  9. "The parts of you that have been deemed 'too much' or 'not enough' haven't disappeared. They've been waiting patiently for you to create space for their return."

  10. "What waits on the other side of fragmentation is a life of unprecedented authenticity, power, and joy."

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Emotional Healing as Sacred Pathway: Reclaiming Your Natural Rhythms

Note: Episode 7 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

Have you ever felt like your emotions were too much to handle? Or found yourself stuck in patterns that disconnect you from your natural wisdom and cyclical nature?

Our emotions aren't just random feelings to be managed or suppressed—they're sophisticated messengers carrying vital information about our experience. Yet many of us have learned to override these signals, creating a profound disconnection from our intuitive knowing and cyclical wisdom.

In this week's episode of Moon & Fire, I'm thrilled to be in conversation with Jessy Pearson Cheney, who helps women process stored emotions and regulate their nervous systems so they can break free from unwanted patterns and reconnect with their inner wisdom.

What I find especially powerful about Jessy's approach is her understanding that healing doesn't have to be painful or time-consuming. There are simple, effective ways to process emotions without reliving trauma. As she beautifully puts it, "You don't have to relive your pain to release it."

When we carry unprocessed emotional experiences, our nervous systems remain stuck in patterns that override our natural cycles. This creates a constant state of sympathetic dominance—our stress response stays activated, disrupting our hormonal balance and pulling us away from our body's inherent rhythms.

Through our conversation, Jessy shares how emotional processing creates space for us to return to our natural state—one where we can flow with our cyclical nature rather than fighting against it. She offers practical tools that help us recognize when we're responding to old triggers rather than present reality, allowing us to release what no longer serves us.

This integration of emotional healing and cyclical living represents a powerful medicine for women seeking to reclaim their intuitive magic. When we clear the emotional static, we can hear the whispers of our inner knowing with greater clarity.

Join us for this illuminating conversation where we explore:

  • How emotional healing supports cyclical living

  • The connection between your nervous system and your natural rhythms

  • Practical tools for processing emotions without reliving trauma

  • How clearing emotional blocks creates space for intuitive wisdom

This episode offers a beautiful complement to our ongoing exploration of living in harmony with our sacred cycles.

May you hear the wisdom in your emotions
May you release what no longer serves your becoming
May you return to the natural rhythm of your being
May you trust the healing that flows through you

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 7:

EPISODE 7 SHOW NOTES

Episode #7: "Emotional Regulation as Sacred Practice: A Conversation with Jessy Pearson Cheney”

Brief Description:

Join me in this illuminating conversation with Jessy Pearson-Cheney about the intersection of emotional healing and cyclical wisdom. Discover how our bodies store emotions, why processing these feelings doesn't require reliving trauma, and practical techniques for nervous system regulation. Learn how emotional healing creates space for reconnecting with your natural rhythms and intuitive knowing. This episode offers compassionate insights into transforming stored emotions into doorways for greater self-understanding and embodied wisdom.

key quotes

  1. "Your body tries to tell you something. It's just, like, emails from your body saying, 'Hey, by the way, I don't know if you realize this, but we're clocking the fact that there's terror happening right now.'"

  2. "Emotions are just data. They're not problems to solve but wisdom to integrate."

  3. "You're fighting against your body who does not want you to do this. Because your nervous system is now familiar with being in trauma and is familiar with coping in these ways."

  4. "Trauma is when something's too fast, too soon, too much, and we're alone and feel unsupported. And so in that moment, your brain and your body's like, 'I can't be here right now.'"

  5. "When you give yourself permission to feel things in your body, you create space where it's safe for you to sit there and realize that it usually takes a few seconds to maybe minutes to feel that and let it just be gone."

  6. "Think of it like having a bunch of computer tabs open... As you close those tabs out, your nervous system can reset and can regulate."

  7. "It's that last piece of the stress cycle where if you don't complete it, that's where the trouble is. There's no trouble of having a response to a stressor. The trouble is if you don't complete that stressor and reset."

  8. "Your body takes it a step further because then it's going to be like, 'Well, I still feel stressed out and we're in this together, so I'm going to start creating some dysfunction in your body because that energy has to go somewhere.'"

  9. "The healing doesn't have to be as bad or as painful or as hard or as long as your brain is telling you it's going to be."

  10. "I don't think we're broken. If your body is in fight-flight, that's a good sign that you have a functional nervous system. You're supposed to go into that and pump all these stress hormones into your system to prepare you to do what you need to do to survive."

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At Home in Your Wholeness: Creating Space for Your Full Feminine Expression

Note: Episode 6 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

I've noticed a recurring theme in my conversations with women – a subtle undercurrent of yearning that surfaces regardless of their life circumstances. It's a hunger to reconcile the divided parts of themselves, to bring together what has been separated, to finally exhale completely in their own skin.

This journey toward wholeness became real for me during a transformative moment sitting alone in prayer in my car. In that unexpected sanctuary, I experienced a profound shift – a dissolving of the internal walls I'd built to separate the "acceptable" parts of myself from those I'd learned to hide. That moment changed everything about how I understood what it means to truly inhabit my life.

The Divided Self

Many of us move through life with invisible lines drawn through our being. The professional self separate from the emotional self. The maternal self disconnected from the sensual self. The public persona distinct from the private truth. We've inherited these divisions, absorbed them from a culture that has long asked women to present only selected aspects of themselves while keeping others carefully contained.

This internal segregation exacts a heavy toll. It requires constant vigilance, draining energy we could direct toward creation and connection. It fragments our wisdom, causing us to second-guess our knowing. It creates a persistent sense of performance rather than presence, leaving us feeling like visitors rather than rightful inhabitants of our own experience.

The most painful cost might be the loneliness – the sense that no one truly knows us because we never fully reveal ourselves, even to ourselves.

The Whole Home

Imagine a home with rooms that have been locked for years – spaces you've paid to heat and maintain but never allowed yourself to enter. What treasures might be waiting there? What resources have you been supporting but not accessing?

When we begin to open these inner doors, to create space for every aspect of our nature, something remarkable happens. We discover that what we feared might be too much, too intense, or too difficult to integrate actually carries essential medicine. Our righteous anger holds our fierce protection. Our deep grief carries our profound capacity for joy. Our wild sensuality contains our creative force.

As we welcome these exiled aspects home, our external world begins to shift in response. Relationships deepen because they're finally with all of us, not just our curated parts. Work becomes more aligned as it flows from our complete knowing. Our very presence becomes more powerful because it's no longer diluted by division.

Your Invitation Home

In Episode 6 of Moon & Fire, I explore this journey of inner homecoming – what prevents us from welcoming our whole selves and what becomes possible when we do. I share practices for expanding your internal sanctuary to include every aspect of your being, not just the parts that have received external validation.

The episode includes a guided practice for creating this internal sanctuary – a place you can return to whenever you notice yourself contracting away from parts of your experience.

This journey toward wholeness isn't just personal – it's revolutionary. In a world that continues to ask women to fragment themselves, choosing wholeness becomes a radical act of reclamation.

I invite you to join me for this exploration of what becomes possible when you truly inhabit your complete, magnificent being.

As an extension of this work, I'm hosting a free virtual workshop on April 16th at 10 AM Eastern called "Storm Truth: The Unshakable Voice of a Truth-Speaking Woman." Once you've created space for your whole self, your voice naturally emerges with new clarity and power. The workshop will help you harness this authentic expression, especially during challenging times.

Create a sanctuary for all your expressions
Honor both shadow and light as your teachers
Feel the relief of your complete emotional landscape
Remember that wholeness is your natural state

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 6:

EPISODE 6 SHOW NOTES

Episode #6: "At Home in Your Wholeness: Reclaiming the Full Spectrum of Your Being”

Brief Description:

What does it truly mean for a woman to be "at home in herself"? In this episode, I explore the radical journey of creating a sanctuary for your complete self—honoring both your light and shadow, your full emotional spectrum, your authentic desires, and the unique dance of feminine and masculine energies within you. Discover why this homecoming is the essential foundation for living from your truth, and learn a practical ritual for welcoming all aspects of your being. This episode offers both deep wisdom and immediate practices to help you reclaim your wholeness and experience the profound liberation that comes from inhabiting your full self.

Episode Highlights

0:05 - 1:15

  • Welcome and introduction to the concept of being "at home in yourself"

  • Announcement of the April 16th workshop

1:15 - 3:00

  • Personal story about experiencing a profound sense of homecoming

  • Emily shares feeling permission to contain multitudes and be both fierce and soft

3:00 - 5:30

  • The longing for wholeness that many women experience

  • How fragmenting ourselves costs us energy and disconnects us from our wisdom

5:30 - 8:00

  • Exploring what it means to be "at home in yourself" as a place of safety and belonging

  • The difference between expanding in comfortable spaces versus contracting in uninviting ones

8:00 - 11:15

  • The full range of feminine being: embracing both light and shadow

  • Understanding emotions as sophisticated messengers, not problems

  • Reconnecting with authentic desires after years of prioritizing others

11:15 - 13:30

  • External and internal barriers to wholeness

  • The inner critic, fear of rejection, and habits of self-abandonment

13:30 - 16:15

  • The pathway home through sacred reconnection and embodied wholeness

  • Creating intentional space to hear all parts of yourself

16:15 - 20:00

  • The "Homecoming Practice" guided visualization

  • Creating an inner sanctuary where all aspects of yourself are welcomed

20:00 - 23:00

  • Closing thoughts on the courage it takes to create a home for your complete self

  • Invitation to the "Storm Truth" workshop on April 16th

  • Final blessing and farewell

key quotes

  1. "This homecoming to our complete selves is one of the most radical and healing journeys we can undertake as women."

  2. "Being at home in yourself means creating space for your complete being – not just the parts that are easy to love or socially acceptable, but every aspect of who you are."

  3. "Home represents safety, belonging, authenticity, and rest. It's where we can exhale completely, where we don't need to hold ourselves together or present a curated version of who we are."

  4. "When we disown aspects of ourselves, we expend enormous energy maintaining these internal boundaries. We lose access to our full resources, our complete wisdom, our most authentic power."

  5. "Our culture has conditioned women to showcase only our most acceptable qualities – our nurturing, our compassion, our accommodation. But what about our fierce protection, our righteous anger, our wild sensuality, our uncompromising boundaries?"

  6. "Integration, not elimination, is the path home. Your shadow qualities aren't problems to solve – they're powerful aspects of yourself waiting to be reclaimed."

  7. "Your emotional range flows naturally with your cycle. There are times when you're designed to feel more deeply, to process more thoroughly, to sense more acutely."

  8. "Many women have a complicated relationship with wanting. We've been taught that our needs should come last, that our desires are secondary, that our will should bend to accommodate others."

  9. "With gentle curiosity, move toward one of these spaces that calls for your attention. As you approach the door, take a breath and set the intention to welcome whatever you find inside."

  10. "When you're at home in yourself, you become unshakable in your truth, unstoppable in your purpose, and unlimited in your expression."

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The Sacred Medicine of Ritual: Reclaiming Ceremony in Modern Life

Note: Episode 5 Show Notes & Resource Guide are available at the end of this entry.

In our rush toward productivity, our obsession with efficiency, and our celebration of constant doing, we've lost something essential—the sacred art of ritual. This loss disconnects us from our own rhythms, from meaningful transitions, and from the ceremony that once marked pivotal moments in our lives.

I discovered this truth while meticulously managing a significant life transition. I had the spreadsheets and to-do lists, but something vital was missing. One evening, feeling this disconnect deeply, I created a simple altar with objects representing what I was releasing and calling in. As I lit a candle and burned a paper carrying what I needed to let go, something profound shifted. I was no longer just managing a change in my head—I was deeply honoring a threshold.

This is ritual medicine—creating a bridge between the mundane and the sacred, between what is and what is becoming.

The Lost Art of Ceremony

Throughout history, cultures worldwide used ritual as medicine for the soul. From ceremonies marking seasons to rites celebrating pivotal moments, ritual helped communities process grief, celebrate joy, and honor transitions.

But in our modern world that values speed over ceremony and productivity over presence, many of us have lost this medicine. We rush through days, transitions, and cycles without marking their significance. This costs us our connection to our bodies' wisdom and the sacred rhythms that could guide us.

For women especially, this disconnection undermines our naturally cyclical nature. When we lose our ritual practice, we lose a powerful tool for honoring these cycles and creating intentional space for our full selves to exist.

Why Ritual Works

Ritual medicine operates at the intersection of body wisdom and sacred ceremony. From a neuroscience perspective, ritual engages our full brain—activating diverse neural networks through multisensory experience. This bypasses our analytical mind and speaks directly to our deeper consciousness.

Research shows that ritual significantly impacts our nervous system regulation, helping shift us from fight-or-flight into rest-and-digest. This physiological shift allows our hormonal systems to function more optimally—particularly important for honoring women's cyclical nature.

The Power of Simple Practice

Ritual doesn't need to be elaborate to be effective. Even the simplest ceremonies can create profound shifts:

  • Lighting a candle before work

  • Placing hands on your heart upon waking

  • Creating small ceremonies to honor where you are in your cycle

  • Marking transitions intentionally rather than rushing through them

What matters isn't the complexity but the presence and intention you bring. A five-minute ceremony done consistently holds more power than an elaborate ritual that feels overwhelming.

An Invitation

In Episode 5 of Moon & Fire, I dive deeper into the Sacred Rhythms Ritual Medicine Framework—a complete approach to creating transformative ceremony through remembering, restoring, reclaiming, and rising. I share practical guidance for creating rituals that honor your cycles, mark transitions, and create containers for your becoming.

I invite you to begin with one small ritual this week. Notice what shifts when you create sacred space for your experience. Remember, you already have everything you need—your body, your breath, your intention. The most potent ceremonies are those that resonate with your authentic expression.

May you remember that ritual is your birthright
May you trust the wisdom that lives in your bones
May you create sacred containers for your becoming
May you walk in the beauty of your own wild knowing

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 5:

EPISODE 5 SHOW NOTES

Episode #5: "The Sacred Medicine of Ritual: Honoring Transitions and Awakening Wisdom"

Brief Description:

In this episode, I explore the transformative power of ritual medicine—the intentional practice of creating sacred ceremony to honor life's transitions, restore natural rhythms, and awaken dormant wisdom. Discover the four-pillar Sacred Rhythms Ritual Medicine Framework that guides you through remembering your cyclical nature, restoring sacred rest, reclaiming your power, and rising into your fullest expression. Learn how ritual creates profound neurological and physiological shifts, and gain practical tools to create simple yet powerful ceremonies that support your cyclical wisdom. This episode offers both ancestral knowledge and modern science to help you reclaim the medicine of ritual in your everyday life.

EPISODE HIGHLIGHTS:

0:05 - 2:30

  • Welcome and introduction

  • Personal story about creating a ritual during a significant transition

  • Overview of episode focus on ritual medicine

2:30 - 5:15

  • What is ritual medicine?

  • How modern society has lost connection to ceremonial practices

  • The cost of rushing through transitions without marking them

5:15 - 9:00

  • The Sacred Rhythms Ritual Medicine Framework™

  • Four pillars: Remember, Restore, Reclaim, Rise

  • How each pillar guides us through transformation

9:00 - 12:00

  • Why ritual medicine works

  • Neuroscience behind ritual's effectiveness

  • How ritual impacts our nervous system

12:00 - 14:30

  • Three essential elements of effective ritual

  • Creating sacred space

  • Designing intentional practice

  • Embodying transformation

14:30 - 17:15

  • Aligning ritual with your cycles

  • How to create rituals for different phases

  • Alternative approaches using moon phases

17:15 - 19:30

  • Creating your own ritual practice

  • Starting with micro-rituals

  • Building a personal ritual vocabulary

19:30 - 21:30

  • Guided "Allowing Practice" ritual demonstration

  • Simple four-step ritual framework anyone can use

21:30 - 22:35

  • Closing thoughts

  • Invitation to begin with one small ritual

  • Preview of next episode

  • Final blessing and farewell

key quotes

  1. "Ritual medicine is the intentional practice of creating sacred ceremony to honor life's transitions, restore our natural rhythms, and awaken dormant wisdom within the body."

  2. "This is the medicine of ritual – creating a bridge between the mundane and the sacred."

  3. "We live in a world that values speed over ceremony, productivity over presence. We rush through our days, our transitions, our cycles, rarely pausing to mark their significance."

  4. "Every effective ritual integrates three essential elements: Sacred Space – the physical and energetic container; Sacred Practice – the intentional ceremony or action; and Sacred Integration – how we embody the transformation."

  5. "When we create intentional ceremony around our cycles, our transitions, our celebrations, and even our grief, we give ourselves the time and space to fully metabolize our experiences."

  6. "Perhaps most powerfully, ritual creates containers for natural unfolding. Rather than forcing transformation through willpower, ceremony creates space where change emerges organically."

  7. "The multisensory nature of ritual is key to its effectiveness. When we involve multiple senses—touch, smell, sound, sight—we activate diverse neural networks simultaneously, creating a more robust encoding of the experience."

  8. "A common ritual is to write down negative self-talk or old habits that are getting in your way, and then rip them up or burn them, signifying a release of their old energy."

  9. "In our modern world, we need ritual medicine more than ever – ways to slow down, mark moments as sacred, and create bridges back to ourselves and our innate knowing."

  10. "Remember, you already have everything you need – your body, your breath, your intention. Trust what feels right for you. The most potent ceremonies are those that resonate with your authentic expression."

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The Dangerous Illusion: Why Managing Is Not Stewarding

Note: Episode 3 + 4 Show Notes & Resource Guides are available at the end of this entry.

As women, many of us pride ourselves on our ability to manage. We coordinate family schedules, lead work projects, maintain relationships, organize community events, and somehow keep all the plates spinning without (visible) effort. This capacity to manage is often celebrated as a strength—and in many ways, it is.

But I've been sitting with an uncomfortable truth lately: managing is not the same as stewarding. And confusing the two might be sabotaging the very things we most deeply long for.

The Hidden Cost of Management Mastery

Let's be honest about what management often looks like in practice. It's the meticulous planning, the detailed to-do lists, the constant anticipation of needs before they arise. It's the orchestration of moving parts according to a vision of how things "should" be.

Management is efficient. It's practical. Sometimes, it's absolutely necessary.

But have you ever paused to notice what happens in your body when you're in full management mode? Your jaw tightens. Your shoulders creep toward your ears. Your breath becomes shallow. Your belly contracts as if preparing for impact.

Our bodies tell a story that our productivity apps don't: management, when it becomes our primary mode of engagement with life, is a state of subtle but constant tension.

And there's a reason for this tension. Because underneath our sophisticated management systems often lie hidden beliefs: "If I don't hold all of this together perfectly, everything will fall apart—and then everyone will see that I'm not actually capable."

And sometimes, even deeper: "If I stop managing everything, I might discover that no one else is holding me either. That I'm actually alone."

This fear of isolation—of discovering that without our constant effort to maintain connections through management, we might find ourselves unsupported—can be more terrifying than the fear of inadequacy.

Management becomes our coping mechanism not just to mask fears of inadequacy, but to protect ourselves from the vulnerability of genuine interdependence. We manage to prove—to ourselves and others—that we are enough, and that we don't need anyone else to hold us.

The Three Leadership Paradigms

This is where understanding different leadership paradigms becomes illuminating. According to the servant leadership framework developed by Robert Greenleaf, there are three distinct ways we can show up in positions of influence:

1. The Egocentric Leader (Leader as Dictator)

  • Focused primarily on self

  • Puts the leader's needs first

  • Treats followers as servants

2. The Patronizing Leader (Leader as Parent)

  • Focused primarily on position

  • Presumes that needs are best determined by the leader

  • Treats followers as children

3. The Servant Leader (Leader as Steward)

  • Focused primarily on others

  • Puts the needs of the led first

  • Treats followers as partners

Most of us would quickly distance ourselves from the egocentric model. But the patronizing leadership style? That one hits closer to home for many women. In this paradigm, we operate from a well-intentioned but ultimately limiting belief that we know best what others need and how things should unfold.

Sound familiar? It's management in its most common form.

From Management to Stewardship

Stewardship, by contrast, is rooted in the servant leadership model. It's fundamentally different not just in its actions but in its inner orientation.

Where management asks: "How can I arrange everything according to my vision?" Stewardship asks: "How can I create conditions where everyone and everything can thrive in their own way?"

The difference is subtle but profound. One approach tightens; the other opens.

As Robert Greenleaf writes in The Servant as Leader:

"The servant-leader is servant first... It begins with the natural feeling that one wants to serve, to serve first. Then conscious choice brings one to aspire to lead."

The focus shifts from controlling outcomes to nurturing possibilities. From directing performances to tending growth. From proving worth through perfect execution to trusting the inherent capability and resilience of ourselves and others.

The Body Wisdom of Stewardship

Clarissa Pinkola Estés, in her work on feminine embodiment, speaks about the power of allowing our bellies to go loose and soft—how this physical surrender reconnects women to our deeper knowing.

This embodied wisdom points to something essential about stewardship. When we steward rather than merely manage, there's a physical relaxation. The body knows it doesn't have to armor itself against failure because it trusts in its capacity to respond to whatever emerges.

There's a quote I love: "Expectation kills magic." I believe over-managing does the same thing. When we're fixated on how things must unfold according to our plans, we close ourselves off to unexpected gifts, unforeseen possibilities, and grace we couldn't have orchestrated.

The Receiving Problem

Perhaps the most significant cost of mistaking management for stewardship is what it does to our capacity to receive.

As managers, we're constantly giving—giving directions, giving effort, giving energy, giving control. This constant output creates a subtle resistance to input. We become so accustomed to arranging the world according to our vision that we struggle to accept what's freely offered when it doesn't match our expectations.

Stewardship carries a different underlying belief: "Whatever comes my way, I have the capacity to meet it." It honors inherent resilience rather than frantically trying to prove worth through perfect execution.

This openness to receiving isn't passive. It's deeply active, but in a different way. It requires the courage to trust, to adapt, to remain flexible in the face of surprise. To steward is to hold vision while remaining curious about how that vision might manifest in ways we couldn't have imagined.

Practical Steps Toward Stewardship

So how do we begin to shift from management to stewardship? Here are some practices I've found helpful:

1. Body Awareness When you notice yourself in management mode—clenched jaw, tight shoulders, contracted belly—place one hand on your abdomen and consciously soften. Let your belly be loose and full. Notice how this physical shift affects your thinking and emotional state.

2. Question Your Expectations When you find yourself attached to a specific outcome, ask: "What am I afraid would happen if this unfolded differently than I expect?" This often reveals the fear beneath the need to control.

3. Practice Receiving Small Things Build your "receiving muscles" with simple practices. Accept compliments without deflection. Receive help without apology. Allow gifts without feeling the immediate need to reciprocate.

4. Shift Your Language Notice when you use phrases like "I need to make sure..." or "I have to control..." These often signal management thinking. Experiment with alternatives like "I'm curious to see how..." or "I'm creating space for..."

5. Trust-Building Experiments Start with low-stakes situations where you deliberately step back from managing and observe what unfolds. Like muscles, our trust grows stronger with regular exercise.

The Paradox of Stewardship

The beautiful paradox of stewardship is that when we loosen our grip on managing outcomes, we often become more effective in creating meaningful change. By treating others as partners rather than variables to be controlled, we tap into collective wisdom and capacity that far exceeds what any single manager could orchestrate.

Perhaps most powerfully, servant leadership creates something that management alone never can: authentic community. Where management often reinforces our isolation—keeping us in the position of the lone orchestrator—stewardship builds genuine connections. It transforms "I must hold everything together" into "We are holding each other."

This is why Greenleaf emphasizes treating followers as partners rather than subordinates. True partnership alleviates the profound loneliness that so often accompanies leadership positions. When we lead as stewards, we discover that we were never meant to carry the weight alone—and that true strength comes from meaningful interdependence.

As Greenleaf notes about servant-leaders:

"The best test, and difficult to administer, is: Do those served grow as persons? Do they, while being served, become healthier, wiser, freer, more autonomous, more likely themselves to become servants?"

This is the ultimate measure of true stewardship—not perfect execution of a predetermined plan, but the growth and flourishing of everything under our care, including ourselves. And importantly, not just individual growth but the cultivation of a community where no one needs to fear being unsupported or alone.

An Invitation

I'm not suggesting we abandon management entirely. There are times when detailed planning and coordination are absolutely necessary. But I am suggesting that we become more discerning about when management is truly needed and when stewardship would serve better.

Perhaps the most powerful question we can ask ourselves is this: "Am I managing right now because the situation truly requires it, or because I'm uncomfortable with the vulnerability of trusting?"

As women who have been conditioned to derive our worth from how well we manage all the things, this question can be both confronting and liberating.

I invite you to join me in this exploration of stewardship—this practice of holding our plans more loosely so that life can breathe through them. Of softening our bellies and our expectations. Of discovering that our capacity to receive—to be surprised, to adapt, to flow—might actually be our greatest strength of all.

What might become possible in your life if you allowed yourself to steward rather than just manage?

 

Listen to Episode 3:

EPISODE 3 SHOW NOTES

Episode #3: "The Management Trap: Recognizing What Holds Us Back"

Brief Description:

In this first installment of a two-part series, I explore the tendency many women have to control and micromanage their lives. I share a personal story of my own awakening to this pattern and introduce servant leadership concepts that offer a different way of being. Discover how the management mindset creates physical tension, disconnects us from our cyclical nature, and stems from deeper fears. This episode lays the groundwork for Episode 4, where we'll explore practical ways to embrace stewardship and reclaim our natural rhythms.

Episode Highlights/Outline:

  1. Personal Story: Transition from Management to Stewardship [00:01:30]

    • Emily shares a personal story about receiving a divine invitation to soften, and how this shift brought about revelations and transformations in her relationships and work.

  2. The Management Trap [00:04:30]

    • Exploration of how many women fall into the management trap and the physical toll it takes on the body. Introduction to the concept of management versus stewardship.

  3. Introduction to Robert Greenleaf's Leadership Paradigms [00:11:30]

    • Explanation of the three leadership paradigms: Egocentric Leader, Patronizing Leader, and Servant Leader, and how they relate to women's experiences.

  4. The Cost of Over-Management [00:17:00]

    • Discussion on how management mode can lead to burnout, disconnection from intuition, and how it impacts relationships and spiritual practices.

  5. Embodying Stewardship through Physical Softening [00:23:00]

    • Emphasis on embodying stewardship by physically softening the body, and the impact of this transition on energy and openness to receiving.

  6. The Connection Between Cyclical Nature and Stewardship [00:26:00]

    • Reflection on the alignment between women's cyclical nature, stewardship, and the broader vision of creating authentic community.

  7. Closing Thoughts: Preparing for the Next Episode [00:28:00]

    • Emily encourages listeners to practice belly softening and awareness of management patterns in preparation for the next episode's deeper exploration.

Key Quotes:

  1. "I felt what I can only describe as an invitation from God, this clear whisper: 'Just soften and receive today.'"

  2. "Our bodies tell a story that our productivity apps don't: management, when it becomes our primary mode of engagement with life, is a state of subtle but constant tension."

  3. "Management becomes our coping mechanism not just to mask fears of inadequacy, but to protect ourselves from the vulnerability of genuine interdependence."

  4. "We've forgotten that we're not meant to be static and unchanging. We're meant to flow, to shift, to transform – just like the moon, just like the seasons, just like all of nature."

  5. "Management asks: 'How can I arrange everything according to my vision?' Stewardship asks: 'How can I create conditions where everyone and everything can thrive in their own way?'"

  6. "The patronizing leadership style often looks and feels like care. And in many ways, it is rooted in genuine care. But it misses something essential: the dignity and capability of those being led."

  7. "Expectation kills magic. When we're fixated on how things must unfold according to our plans, we close ourselves off to unexpected gifts, unforeseen possibilities, and grace we couldn't have orchestrated."

  8. "One approach tightens; the other opens. One contracts around control; the other expands into possibility. One demands certainty; the other welcomes mystery."

  9. "When we lead as stewards, we discover that we were never meant to carry the weight alone—and that true strength comes from meaningful interdependence."

  10. "To steward is to hold vision while remaining curious about how that vision might manifest in ways we couldn't have imagined."

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Listen to Episode 4:

episode 4 show notes

Episode #4: “The Way of the Steward: Reclaiming Sacred Leadership”

Brief Description:

In this conclusion to our two-part series, I explore how stewardship manifests uniquely through each phase of your cycle and offer five practical techniques to shift from management to stewardship in daily life. Discover the paradox of how loosening control often creates better outcomes than tight management ever could. The episode includes a ritual practice for embodying this shift and reconnecting with your natural cyclical wisdom.

Episode Highlights/Outline:

03:32 Cyclical Stewardship Through Life Phases

09:31 "Nurturing Intuition in Collaboration"

12:25 Embracing Cyclical Stewardship

15:22 "Softening and Questioning Expectations"

20:06 Trust-Building Challenges: Start Small

24:09 The Power of Letting Go

27:07 "Open Hands, Cyclical Power"

30:15 "Embracing Intuitive Stewardship"

35:05 "Embracing Stewardship's Path"

37:27 Sacred Cycles: Embrace Your Rhythm

Key Quotes:

"Embracing Cyclical Stewardship": "One of the most beautiful aspects of embracing both cyclical living and stewardship is recognizing that stewardship looks and feels different in each phase of our cycle."

— Emily Bailey [00:03:59 → 00:04:10]

"Honoring Beginnings:": "We honor the natural enthusiasm and optimism of this phase without rushing to harvest what's just beginning to grow."

— Emily Bailey [00:06:47 → 00:06:54]

"Cyclical Wisdom in Leadership": "We recognize that effective stewardship doesn't look the same all month long and that it's not a weakness or inconsistency, it's actually the very source of our power."

— Emily Bailey [00:12:28 → 00:12:40]

"Building Trust with Small Steps": "The key to each of these experiments is to start small enough that your nervous system doesn't go into full panic, but significant enough that you're stretching your comfort zone."

— Emily Bailey [00:20:51 → 00:21:01]

The Paradox of Leadership: "That, to me, is the most beautiful paradox of all, that by releasing our need to control everything, we actually create the conditions for deeper connection, support, and belonging."

— Emily Bailey [00:26:45 → 00:26:57]

"Embracing Stewardship Over Control": "In a world that often rewards control and celebrates the perfect execution, it takes courage to choose a different path, to loosen your grip, to trust in something larger than your own efforts, and to create space for mystery alongside intention."

— Emily Bailey [00:35:58 → 00:36:16]

The Ancient Map Within: Honoring Your Cyclical Wisdom

Note: Episode 2 Show Notes & Resource Guides are available at the end of this entry.

There's a profound map encoded within you—a rhythm that pulses beneath the surface of your daily life, guiding you if only you'll listen. This map isn't something to learn but something to remember, a wisdom your body has always known but that our modern world has taught you to override.

When I first discovered the power of living in harmony with my natural cycles, everything shifted. I realized that my energy wasn't meant to be constant, that my creativity, focus, intuition, and need for connection naturally ebbed and flowed in a sacred pattern.

What if, instead of fighting against these rhythms, we learned to dance with them?

In this second episode of Moon & Fire, "Remembering Our Cyclical Nature," I guide you deeper into understanding the four distinct phases that move through us as women—phases I call Crone, Maiden, Mother, and Wild Woman. Each carries its own medicine, its own wisdom, and its own invitation.

Imagine knowing exactly when your body is naturally primed for rest and reflection, when your creative energy will flow most effortlessly, when your capacity to nurture and manifest is at its peak, and when your intuition speaks most clearly. This isn't fantasy—it's your birthright as a woman connected to her cyclical nature.

Our menstrual cycles, the moon's phases, the turning of seasons—all reflect a universal truth about the feminine experience: we are not meant to be static. We are designed to flow between different states of being, to harness the unique gifts of each phase, to honor the wisdom that moves through our bodies in rhythmic waves.

But what does this look like in practice? How do we begin to reclaim this connection when we've spent so long disconnected from our natural rhythms?

In this episode, I share practical tools for tracking and honoring your unique cyclical fingerprint. I offer the Cyclical Awareness Compass—a simple yet powerful practice to help you locate yourself in your cycle at any moment. And I guide you through creating small, intentional adjustments that can transform how you experience your energy, creativity, and intuition.

Whether you menstruate regularly, have irregular cycles, or no longer bleed at all, this wisdom belongs to you. Your body carries these archetypal energies, and learning to dance with them opens doorways to deeper knowing, more authentic expression, and a profound sense of coming home to yourself.

This remembering is both ancient and revolutionary. Your grandmothers' grandmothers lived by these rhythms, and yet in our modern context, honoring your cyclical nature becomes a radical act of self-reclamation.

I invite you to join me in this remembering—to discover how aligning with your natural rhythms can transform not just how you schedule your days, but how you experience your life and express your unique medicine in the world.

May you remember that your cycles are sacred
May you trust the rhythm that lives in your bones
May you honor both your quiet moments and your fierce fire
May you flow with grace through all your seasons

 

Listen to Episode 2:

EPISODE 2 SHOW NOTES

Episode #2: "Remembering Our Cyclical Nature"

Brief Description:

In this transformative episode of Moon + Fire, host Emily Bailey delves deeper into the essence of living cyclically and what it truly means to honor, understand, and work with the natural phases that move through us. She emphasizes the importance of stepping away from society's linear mindset to embrace our unique rhythms, thereby reclaiming our radiant energy and profound wisdom. This journey is for women seeking to connect with their inner selves through the powerful concept of cyclical living.

Episode Highlights/Outline:

  • [00:00:11] Introduction: Embracing sacred cycles and intuitive magic.

  • [00:01:45] Exploring Cyclical Living: Comparison of women's natural cycles with societal structures, introduction to the lunar cycle.

  • Understanding Our Biological Design: Insight into the 28-day hormonal cycle and its influence.

  • Disconnection from Natural Rhythms: The impact of modern living on women's cycles and energy levels.

  • The Four Phases of Cycles:

    • Crone Phase (Inner Winter): Days 1-5, inward reflection and spiritual receptivity.

    • Maiden Phase (Inner Spring): Post-menstruation to ovulation, new beginnings and creativity.

    • Mother Phase (Inner Summer): Days 12-16, heightened energy and nurturing.

    • Wild Woman Phase (Inner Autumn): Post-ovulation, deep intuition and truth-telling.

  • Adapting Life to Cycles: Practical tools for aligning schedules, activities, and rituals with personal phases.

  • [Exclusives] Cyclical Awareness Compass: A tool to enhance personal cyclical wisdom and life navigation.

Key Quotes:

  1. "Our sacred cycles aren't just something that happened to us. They're an ancient map, an invitation to deeply know ourselves."

  2. "When we begin to recognize the patterns that move through us, we step out of the linear, push-through at all costs model that our society values."

  3. "Remembering that living cyclically isn't about perfection, it's about awareness."

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Sacred Rhythms: Awakening to Your Cyclical Nature

Note: Episode 1 Show Notes & Resource Guides are available at the end of this entry.

For so long, I found myself trying to fit into a mold that was never designed for me. I woke up every day expecting to be the same version of myself—equally productive, equally social, equally energized. But deep down, it felt impossible. And while I kept striving to meet these expectations, I felt a constant pull, a quiet tug from within, whispering, There's another way.

Did you know that women's hormonal cycles naturally align with the moon's 28-day cycle, while men's hormones follow the sun's 24-hour cycle?

Meanwhile, our entire society is structured around that solar rhythm—a system that may not honor your deepest nature. Learning this truth was revolutionary for me. It unlocked a sense of freedom and understanding that transformed my relationship with time, energy, and purpose. Tasks I once struggled to fit in suddenly had their moment. Parts of me I'd been taught to ignore were given space to breathe, awakening dormant wisdom and igniting my fullest expression.

What about you? Have you noticed those subtle hints from your body or your spirit—the calling to rest, the fire to create, the longing for sacred solitude? How often do you override these signals because they don't align with society's expectations? What if instead of suppressing these cycles, you honored them as the sacred map they are? What dormant wisdom might awaken? What radiant fire might ignite?

This question isn't theoretical.

It's an invitation to remember your sacred cycles—an invitation to reclaim your relationship with your natural rhythms.

And here's your challenge: For the next few days, simply observe. Notice the moments when your body and intuition are asking for something different than what's on your to-do list. What patterns emerge? What wild wisdom is stirring within you?

If this speaks to something deeper in your soul, something you may not yet have words for, I'd love for you to join me on the Moon & Fire podcast. In our first episode, "Sacred Beginnings: Introduction to Moon + Fire," I share my journey of awakening to the power of cyclical living and ritual medicine. I reveal how honoring our natural rhythms can transform not only how we experience our days but how we express our most radiant truth in the world.

You are not meant to be static and unchanging. You're meant to flow, to shift, to transform—just like the moon, just like the seasons, just like all of nature. When you remember this truth, you step into a power that's been waiting for you all along. Your cycles aren't your enemy—they're your compass, your guide, your sacred map home to yourself.

Remember the sacred cycles. Reclaim your radiant fire. Unleash your intuitive magic.

 

Listen to Episode 1:

Episode 1 Show Notes

Episode 1: Sacred Beginnings - Remembering Our Cyclical Nature

Brief Description:

In the inaugural episode of Moon + Fire, Emily Bailey invites listeners into a sacred space to explore the profound power of living in harmony with our natural cycles. Discover how honoring both the light and shadows within us can ignite personal transformation and spark change in the world. This episode highlights the journey of remembering our ancient wisdom and reclaiming our radiant, untamed nature.

Episode Highlights/Outline:

  • [00:00:11] Introduction to Moon + Fire and the mission of the podcast

  • [00:01:46] Emily's personal journey and the revelation of cyclical living

  • [00:05:24] Understanding sacred cycles and their connection to the moon and seasons

  • [00:08:15] The detrimental effects of disconnecting from natural rhythms

  • [00:11:30] Importance and power of ritual medicine

  • [00:17:45] Overview of the Sacred Rhythms Ritual Medicine framework

  • [00:23:20] Practical guidance for living cyclically and creating rituals

  • [00:29:05] The Allowing Ritual and closing blessings

Key Quotes:

  1. "Our sacred cycles aren't just something that happened to us. They're an ancient map, an invitation to deeply know ourselves, to dance through our own becoming."

  2. "Imagine for a moment that instead of forcing yourself to be the same person every day, you allowed yourself to flow with your natural rhythms, like the moon, like the seasons, like the tides."

  3. "What makes ritual medicine so powerful is that it's not just theoretical. It's embodied, practical magic."

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Join our sacred circle and receive weekly emails with links to the latest episodes, companion blog posts, and exclusive access to episode resource guides. These practical tools will support your journey of remembering your sacred cycles, reclaiming your radiant fire, and unleashing your intuitive magic.