Note: Episode 29 Show Notes are available at the end of this entry.
There's an exhaustion I keep witnessing in the women around me. Not just the tired-from-a-long-day kind. The deeper kind. The kind that comes from carrying everything yourself.
Managing the household, showing up for work, being present for relationships, maintaining your wellness practices, handling the emotional labor, remembering all the details, holding it all together.
We're so good at it. We've learned to be efficient, capable, independent. We pride ourselves on not needing help, on figuring it out, on handling our own stuff.
But here's what I keep wondering: What if we were never meant to do it all ourselves?
The Individual Paradigm Is Breaking Us
We live in a culture that worships independence. Self-made. Self-sufficient. Self-reliant.
Pull yourself up by your bootstraps. Don't be a burden. Prove your worth through what you can accomplish alone.
These messages run so deep we don't even question them anymore. We just keep pushing, keep managing, keep trying to be consistent and show up the same way every single day regardless of what our bodies, our cycles, or our souls are asking for.
And we wonder why we're so tired.
But what if the problem isn't that you're not doing enough or not strong enough or not disciplined enough?
What if the problem is that you're trying to thrive in a paradigm that was never designed for collective beings living cyclical lives?
We Were Meant for Village
Our ancestors lived in villages. Not because they were less capable or more dependent, but because they understood something we've forgotten: we are not meant to do life alone.
Raising children, caring for elders, managing households, creating and working, celebrating and grieving—these were always communal experiences. There were hands to help, eyes to witness, hearts to share the load.
The village wasn't a luxury. It was how humans were designed to live.
Somewhere along the way, we lost this. We traded village for isolation, collective wisdom for individual achievement, interdependence for independence.
And now we're drowning in the effort of trying to be everything to everyone while our souls are starving for genuine connection.
From Doing to Being
Here's what struck me most in this week's conversation on Moon & Fire: calling village back into being is less about what we do and more about who we're being.
It's not another thing to add to your to-do list. It's not about organizing more events or joining more groups or forcing community to happen.
It's about releasing the grip on control and trusting sacred nudges. It's about shifting from relational mistrust to openness. It's about honoring cyclical rhythms rather than forcing constant productivity.
It's about remembering that the constructs of proving our worth through forceful pushing, of having to do everything ourselves, of being valued only for what we produce—these don't serve us. They never did.
What Becomes Possible
When we begin to shift from the individual paradigm to remembering our village nature, something magical happens.
Ease. Freedom. Relaxation. Magic.
Not because life suddenly becomes perfect or simple, but because we stop carrying everything alone. We stop betraying our cyclical nature to fit into linear expectations. We stop forcing ourselves into boxes we were never meant to inhabit.
We remember that we're allowed to need each other. That interdependence isn't weakness—it's wisdom.
The Invitation
If you're exhausted from trying to do it all yourself, if you're craving deeper connection, if some part of you remembers that there's another way to live—this conversation is for you.
Listen to this week's episode of Moon & Fire: "We Were Meant for Village: Creating Community Through Being, Not Doing" with Emily Race-Newmark (check it out below 👇)
Because maybe what you're craving isn't just rest or a better schedule or more discipline.
Maybe what you're craving is village.
What's your relationship with community right now? Are you trying to do it all alone, or are you finding ways to call village back into being? I'd love to hear—share your thoughts with me by email - emily@wholeandwild.com.
Listen to Episode 29:
EPISODE 29 SHOW NOTES
Episode #29: "We Were Meant for Village: Creating Community Through Being, Not Doing with Emily Race-Newmark”
Brief Description:
In this inspiring conversation, Emily sits down with Emily Race-Newmark to explore "revillaging"—the practice of returning to a village paradigm and creating the community connection we're truly meant for. Emily shares her beautiful story of trusting intuition to find their home, including the moment she felt nudged to make muffins for neighbors, which led to discovering their perfect house through prayer, ritual, and following sacred inner wisdom.
You'll discover why community building is more about who we're being than what we're doing, how revillaging is a creative, relational, and spiritual practice that honors our cyclical nature, and what her "moon school" experiment looks like—gathering families around new and full moons. Emily helps us understand why the constructs of doing it all ourselves or proving our worth through forceful pushing do not serve us, and how releasing relational mistrust opens us to the village life we're destined for.
This conversation offers guidance for women feeling isolated and overwhelmed by trying to do everything alone, and provides a vision for calling community back into being through cyclical wisdom, ritual practices, and feminine receiving. Perfect for anyone feeling called to build community but unsure where to start, or ready to shift from the depleting individual paradigm to collective connection.
Key Quotes:
"We were meant to live, age, raise children, and be part of a community, a village, and this isn't something of a far away country or time."
“If you want the village, if you want community, you actually don't have to do a bunch of things. It's not about more action steps and to-do lists. It's more about honestly shifting to the state of being a villager."
"Village is this thing that we actually have around us right now and we just need to kind of tap into that frequency and that existence that's already here."
"What I need is what the earth needs and I can actually just like make this my lifestyle to address all of my values and what I care about."
"That was rebillaging kind of in a nutshell—what would have been a transactional experience became this really relational experience."
"An experimental mindset is a really helpful paradigm shift—everything doesn't have to be perfect. If only two people show up that wasn't a failure. What did I learn in that process?"
"The shift she made was I'm actually going to pause, say hi, make eye contact with my barista. Maybe ask their name. That does nothing. It's not additional work. It's just a shift in who she's being."
"We're trying to live within an individual paradigm when we're actually meant for a collective one."
"We now are like parenting together. Our children are not siloed. We're all jumping in as like one collective parent body."
"There's great loss when we miss out on the wisdom that can come through our differentness and the perspectives that we wouldn't have accessed."
Invitations from this episode:
Practice Being a Villager This Week Choose one daily routine moment (getting coffee, grocery shopping, walking the dog) and shift from doing mode to "villager being" mode—make eye contact, say hello, ask someone's name, be present with the people already around you.
The Experimental Mindset Challenge Try one small revillaging experiment this month without attachment to outcome—bake something for a neighbor, start a conversation at the park, leave a note, host a simple gathering—and observe what you learn, regardless of the result.
Answer the Question: Who Am I as a Villager? Journal or reflect on what you would offer your village (not based on your job title, but on what lights you up, what you want to learn, what you love to share).
The Sacred Pause Practice After planting any intention or seed (whether for community, a project, or a dream), practice the pause—trust what you've planted before rushing to the next action step.
Connect with Emily Race-Newmark
Follow her on Substack (Emily Cares) or Instagram (@RevillagingMama)
Explore Emily’s one-on-one offering "Revillage Your Life"
Join The Third Space community for group revillaging practice
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