Note: Episode 27 Show Notes are available at the end of this entry.
There's a particular kind of exhaustion I witness in the women I work with—not the tiredness that comes from hard work, but the bone-deep depletion that arrives when we've been moving in directions that don't actually align with who we are.
These are capable, accomplished women. They're doing all the "right" things. Their calendars are full. Their to-do lists are color-coded. They're showing up, delivering, performing.
And they're dying inside.
Not from laziness. Not from lack of discipline. But from a profound disconnection from what I call their resonance—that deep internal knowing about what truly aligns with their purpose and what doesn't.
The Productivity Trap
We live in a culture obsessed with visible productivity. We measure our worth by our output, our value by our busyness, our success by what we can point to and say "I did that."
This creates a particular trap for women: we learn to prioritize what looks productive over what's actually generative. We choose the impressive opportunity over the aligned one. We say yes to what makes sense on paper while ignoring the quiet "no" in our bodies. We chase achievement while our souls are whispering "this isn't your path."
The result? We expend enormous energy moving in directions that take us further from ourselves rather than closer to our purpose.
What Is Resonance?
In physics, resonance happens when something vibrates at its natural frequency. Strike a tuning fork, and another tuning fork of the same frequency will begin to vibrate too—without being touched. They're in resonance.
Your being has a natural frequency too. It's the unique vibration of your authentic essence, your true purpose, your soul's calling.
When an opportunity, relationship, or direction matches that frequency, you feel it in your body—not as excitement or preference, but as a deeper, quieter certainty. An expansion. An opening. A sense of "yes, this is mine to do."
When something is misaligned, your body contracts. There's a tightening, a sense of something being off, even if you can't articulate why.
Most of us have learned to override these signals entirely.
The Work That Looks Like Nothing
Here's what resonance work actually looks like:
Pausing before responding to an opportunity to ask "does this align with my purpose?"
Sitting quietly to feel into whether something expands or contracts your energy
Saying no to something lucrative because it doesn't match your soul's frequency
Choosing the path that feels right in your body over the one that looks best on paper
In a productivity-obsessed world, this looks like doing nothing. It looks like being indecisive. It looks like a luxury we can't afford.
But I want to challenge this entirely: What if resonance work isn't a luxury at all, but actually the most productive thing you could possibly do?
Why This Matters More Than You Think
When you skip the work of attuning to your resonance and just push forward with what seems productive, several things happen:
You waste enormous amounts of time and energy on things that don't actually serve your purpose. You pursue opportunities that look good but leave you feeling hollow. You build a life that's impressive on the outside but misaligned on the inside.
Most critically, you disconnect from your internal compass—the very thing that could guide you toward what you're actually meant to do in the world.
But when you learn to recognize and honor your resonance:
Your energy becomes renewable rather than depletable
Your impact exponentially increases because you're working from genuine alignment
You make better decisions because you're listening to your body's wisdom
You attract opportunities that actually match your frequency
You navigate life's transitions with clarity rather than confusion
This isn't theoretical. This is how transformation actually works.
The Challenge of Real Barriers
I want to be honest about something: while resonance work is essential rather than luxury, there are real systemic barriers that make this work incredibly difficult for many women to access.
When you're in survival mode—working multiple jobs, unsure how you'll pay rent, every decision constrained by immediate economic necessity—the ability to pause and attune to resonance faces genuine obstacles. These barriers aren't in your head. They're material, structural, and deeply unjust.
I've spent years working alongside families navigating what researcher Ruby Payne calls "the culture of poverty," and I've seen how economic marginalization creates very real constraints around this essential work.
But here's what I've also witnessed: even in survival contexts, the capacity for resonance remains alive. It might express differently—choosing which of two necessary jobs leaves you slightly less depleted, noticing which relationships drain versus nourish you even when you can't immediately change circumstances. The work becomes harder, but your body's wisdom about alignment doesn't disappear.
Resonance work belongs to all of us, regardless of our economic circumstances. Your purpose doesn't care about your bank account. Your body's knowing about what aligns with your truth isn't reserved for women with financial cushions.
The practice might look different based on your circumstances, the pace might vary, the support needed might differ—but your resonance? That's yours, and it's calling you home.
Beginning the Practice
You don't need elaborate rituals or extended meditation sessions to begin reconnecting with your resonance. You need moments of conscious attention woven into choices you're already making.
Before your next decision—whether it's accepting an invitation, pursuing an opportunity, or simply choosing how to spend your afternoon—try this:
Place one hand on your heart and one on your belly. Take three deep breaths. Bring the decision to mind and notice: Does your body expand or contract? Does your breath deepen or shorten? Does energy move toward this option or away from it?
Trust what you feel before your mind starts analyzing.
This simple practice—repeated consistently—begins to recalibrate your internal compass. What once felt subtle becomes clearer. What seemed uncertain becomes trustworthy.
The Sacred Passages Connection
This work becomes especially crucial during life's major transitions—those threshold moments when we're crossing from one chapter into another.
Whether you're stepping into motherhood, changing careers, ending or beginning relationships, or entering a new season of life, these passages require a kind of discernment that goes beyond logic. They demand that we attune to what's resonant, trust what our bodies know, and follow a path that can't always be justified on paper.
Resonance work is how we navigate these sacred passages with wisdom rather than just willpower. It's how we release what no longer serves and receive what's trying to emerge. It's what transforms transitions from something to white-knuckle through into initiations that deepen our power.
The Invitation
Your resonance is not a luxury to get to eventually, after all the "real" work is done.
It's the most real work there is.
It's the work of coming home to yourself. Of trusting the wisdom your body already carries. Of aligning your outer life with your inner truth. Of moving through the world in ways that feel generative rather than depleting.
The world doesn't need more of your exhausted, misaligned hustle.
It needs what you came here to offer when you're operating from genuine alignment rather than should-driven obligation.
It needs your resonant yes.
Want to go deeper into this work? I explore resonance in much greater depth in the latest Moon & Fire podcast episode, including:
The actual science of resonance and why your body knows what your mind doesn't
How to create energetic boundaries that protect your alignment
The connection between resonance work and navigating major life transitions
A complete Resonance Check-In ritual you can begin using today
Why this work is productive rather than indulgent (and how to explain that to the skeptics in your life)
And if you're sensing you're at a threshold—approaching or moving through a significant life transition—join me for a free workshop on Sacred Passage where we'll explore how resonance work becomes the key to navigating these moments with clarity and power. Learn more and register here →
What's one decision you could bring to the Resonance Check-In practice this week? I'd love to hear what you discover when you start trusting your body's wisdom about what aligns with your deepest purpose.
Listen to Episode 27:
EPISODE 27 SHOW NOTES
Episode #27: "The Resonance Within: Why Your Most Productive Work Feels Like Doing Nothing”
Brief Description:
You've been taught that real work is measurable, visible, productive. But what about the work of attuning to your deepest purpose? What about pausing to ask "does this resonate?" before saying yes?
In this episode, I explore why resonance work—the practice of recognizing your body's wisdom about what aligns with your purpose—isn't a luxury but the most productive work available to you. I address the real systemic barriers that make this work harder for women in survival contexts, while affirming that your capacity for resonance belongs to you regardless of your circumstances.
You'll learn why your dissonant nos matter as much as your resonant yeses, how this work moves you through life's sacred passages, and a simple Resonance Check-In ritual you can begin using today. Plus, I share how resonance work connects to navigating major life transitions with clarity and power.
Key Quotes:
On the misconception of productivity: "We've been taught to believe that resonance work is a luxury. We think it's something we can get to eventually, after all the 'real' work is done. But what if this belief is not just wrong, but backwards?"
On recognizing resonance: "Resonance is quieter, deeper, more certain. It's the difference between 'I think I should do this' and 'I cannot not do this.' It's the difference between 'this would be good for my career' and 'this feeds something essential in me.'"
On the cost of skipping this work: "When we skip resonance work and just push forward with what seems productive, we end up exhausted, depleted, and often moving in directions that don't actually serve our deepest purpose. We expend enormous energy doing things that don't align with our true work in the world."
On systemic barriers: "The barriers aren't in your head - they're material, structural, and deeply unjust. When you're exhausted from working multiple shifts, when every choice is about immediate survival rather than alignment, when the capacity to honor your dissonant nos when you need any income at all is your reality - it might honestly take a kind of bone-deep courage that requires being surrounded by a supportive community to enact."
On universal access to resonance: "The truth is that resonance work belongs to all of us, regardless of our economic circumstances. It's not reserved for women with financial cushions or flexible schedules. Your body's wisdom about what aligns with your purpose doesn't disappear because you're navigating survival."
On renewable energy: "Work that aligns with your resonance might be challenging, but it doesn't drain you in the same way that misaligned work does. You can sustain it longer. You recover faster. You don't wake up dreading it."
On the productivity paradox: "Resonance work is productive because it's how we navigate the sacred passages of our lives. It's how we move from where we are to where we're meant to be. It's how we discover and step into our true work in the world."
On energetic boundaries: "When you honor your resonance and create boundaries that protect it, you don't become selfish or closed off. You actually become more generous and open - because you're giving from a place of genuine alignment rather than depleted obligation."
On navigating transitions: "Resonance work is what allows us to move through these sacred passages with grace rather than resistance. It's what helps us release what no longer serves and receive what's trying to emerge. It's what transforms transitions from something to survive into initiations that deepen our power and clarity."
On the core invitation: "The world doesn't need more of your depleted, misaligned hustle. It needs your resonant yes. It needs what you came here to offer when you're operating from genuine alignment rather than should-driven obligation."
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